From the recording CALM YOUR BLOOD
She said “You don’t deserve to be happy!”
And I cowered ‘cos she always knew best.
“Dreams are not concrete, they’re like dust and they are at the mercy
Of the breeze.” As I deflated
Clutching at my chest. The she said
“Sing me a song of your longing.”
And I whispered it ‘cos yelling hurt my head.
“Paint me a picture, paint me springtime, paint with brighter colours.
Brighter than you ever will again.”
Pulling up pins, I drove around on your skin.
I cut a switch from the tree in The Garden of Eden.
Lump in your throat, I’ll be a thorn in your side.
I’ll die a thousand times over before
I feel alive by myself.
She said “Now you deserve to be lonely”
As I whimpered I hit nails on their heads.
“So few find comforting what most of us call instinct.”
And with that she stood up silently and left.
Found out you lied, I found out you were unwell,
So I took a second job to concentrate on your health.
Christ I conceded that like Christ I believed you
And I begged you to stab me before I did it myself.
Lit up like Christmas at the end of a summer
That bought nothing but rain.
Now your eyelids wont close anymore.
She said “Now you deserve to be happy.”
And I smiled ‘cos I always knew best.